Anonymous said: So I'm AMAB and some days I really feel like a girl, but other days I feel fine being a guy. The thing is, I can't tell whether I'm genderfluid, or if I'm a trans woman who just has some days where the dysphoria isn't so bad. What is the difference?

Honestly, this is a really hard question to answer. I’ve found that for a lot of people identifying as genderfluid is something that they do when they’re exploring their identity in the early stages, and that the fluctuating dysphoria either evens out or becomes something they recognize as what you’re describing, it just not being as bad some days.

A lot of binary trans or more static non-binary people have that experience! They start off swinging, not sure who or what they are, and it evens out. That doesn’t make being genderfluid long-term something that is rare or wrong, though! Different people experience gender differently. I was very clearly fluid as a child, but not so much now; I know lots of people who’ve had the opposite experience, a sort of genderlessness or non-binary experience of childhood and then more overt fluidity in adulthood, and of course tons of people don’t have any inkling they’re trans until late in life.

It’s okay to not know what you are. It’s okay to want to know what you are, and to be frustrated with this! Time will probably help you work it out. Don’t be afraid of just picking one thing for now and changing it if it doesn’t seem to fit later on! I’d note however that what you’re describing is definitely something that’s true of the trans women in my life, especially in the first few months of identifying as something other than cis, and that lots of them did go through IDing as genderfluid or non-binary at first. That’s okay! Not doing that and deciding you’re a trans woman is also okay!

Good luck, in any case.


Anonymous said: Hey looking for subtle ways of looking more feminine for male body, not ready yet for full shebang but i want to experiment around, any ideas?

You could try out some make-up, or try tucking, or try more androgynous clothing, or experiment with your body language.  Anyone else have ideas?


Anonymous said: I've been really confused about my gender identity recently because at first I thought I might be genderfluid but I don't feel like I switch between boy and girl, I just feel like a girl but recently I've really been wanting to wear boys clothes and look like as much as a boy as I can (but I think I still want to look like a girl and wear girl's clothes sometimes) Do you know if there is a name for this? Thanks

You could be a girl who likes wearing boy’s clothes/looking like a boy.  That doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with your gender identity.  You could be someone who likes crossdressing, or a drag king, or butch, or a tomboy, or just a girl who likes to look a certain way.


Anonymous said: I came out to my group counselor as genderfluid today, and she was very accepting and open about it. She even offered to be in the room when I tell my one on one therapist, and has even helped me to find a gender therapist that I can afford.

That’s great!

Anonymous said: I'm genderfluid (although I usually just say I'm non-binary), but I also identify as lesbian (I'm dfab). Often times people say I can't be non-binary AND gay. Is my identity technically possible without being contradictory?

Identities are complicated things.  If that combination of identities feels right to you, that’s fine.  You’re not alone there.  Just make sure you’re not being anything like this (misgendering/being transmisogynistic/cissexist/transphobic towards other people through your identity), and you’re golden.


Anonymous said: Is it bad that I get mad at people when they say, "I'm fine with it and I accept you, but it doesn't matter because you're female and not going to transition."

No, it’s not bad.  Those people are transphobic, cissexist jerks and are lying when they say they accept you.  That’s not what acceptance looks like.


Anonymous said: Is it okay to experiment with gender?




(Reblogged from askanonbinary)

damatris said: Hi! I was wondering if there are some offensive tropes/cliches I should be aware while writing a gender fluid character? I'm making a webcomic loosely based on Scandinavian mythology (which sports more than one instance of a character shifting their gender), so I decided to give it a modern twist and actually address the fact that gender can be fluid and change instead of using it for laughs. Would shape-shifting to another gender while expressing said identity be considered bad cliche?

I think that would be fine as long as you don’t act like their body changing is the same as their gender changing.  Make sure you don’t conflate their physical changes with their gender changes, even if for them the two may be related.  It would also be good if you could point out that there exist genderfluid people who can’t shapeshift.  What I guess I’m saying is, don’t fall into cissexist patterns that imply the shape of a person’s body defines their gender.


Anonymous said: Help? For about as long as I can remember I have been genderfluid (female, androgynous, and agender), and I started fully identifying as fluid about a year ago, but I've been feeling increasingly more agender for about 2 months and I don't know what to identify as? I'm still comfortable presenting more femme, but I'm just...I'm losing my gendered identification...I'm hopelessly lost.

I see how that could be scary, but I think it’s a thing that happens to a lot of people.  Sometimes our gender does something we’re not used to and it throws off our whole understanding.  It might stay like that, and it might go back to what you’re used to, or it might to do something else. but there’s not much you can do about it either way, and it’s okay.  Anyway, this doesn’t mean you’re not genderfluid.  You don’t have to have a gender that changes all the time to be genderfluid; it just has to change sometimes, and that’s clearly the case for you.  It’ll be okay.





How to make cleavage

Reblogging this for all of my mtf sisters out there that might not know how to make a nice cleavage, this is a really great how-to. Check it out!

Signal boosting for my followers! :) Just remember, ladies and non-binary cleavage lovers, that those silicone bras can be tightened to a point where you can hurt yourself and you should avoid this. Try not to wear excessively tightened bras for more than a few hours at a time, take them off when you go to sleep, and if you begin to bruise or get rashes in the general bra area, don’t wear them for a few days. Also, if it hurts immediately, readjust!

I often see warnings about this for binders for the ftm crowd, but it’s important to remember that anything strapped tightly around your chest can cause harm and circulation issues. Stay safe, dearies, and look fabulous! 

(Reblogged from poppunkvampire)

no-indignity said: Genderfluid vs Genderqueer: i ID as genderfluid, which means yeah sometimes i feel like a dude and sometimes i feel like a lady and sometimes my brain cant decide. I also id as genderqueer, because my personal definitions consider that to be an umbrella term for nonbinary folks. :D just to throw another personal experience in there!


I just wanted to come by and share something that made me very happy today. It’s my first day at college and I have a lanyard to hold my ID card. I decided to write pronoun sets on little pieces of paper and stick them in the other side of my ID holder so that in future I’ll be able to easily show people which pronouns I’d prefer at any given moment/day. I’m pretty proud of thinking of this and I just thought it might be useful for others too. :)