Any tips or handouts/brochures about coming out as poly and genderfluid to one’s parents? -sigh-

(Reblogged from aquestforpeace)

key here-still traveling, will be back in four days and straight to exams, so you may not hear from me much for a bit.

contact me at my personal if you need me!

Hi, Hello. So I’m new here, I am DMAB, identify as genderfluid and I was hoping someone could help/give advise on a few things (sorry, it might be a bit long)

1) So, I don’t know how many other people get this, but the point on the gender spectrum I identify with changes completely randomly. I don’t have masculine days and feminine days, I just wake up, dress in what makes me comfortable but later on that day I may end up hating what I’m wearing, how I’m wearing my hair, etc

2) I have facial hair and even when I’m feeling feminine, I really like it. The problem with that is, I hate that to anyone but me, facial hair is considered a masculine trait and so it challenges the validity of any femininity identify with.

3) I feel like even in the the queer community, I feel as if I’m not considered as a part of the trans* community because I’m not FTM or MTF. Even in the parts of the community that I am accepted, I’m not equal.

4) I have no idea what to do with my pronouns. At the moment, I’ve sort of settled with neutral or no pronouns but even that feel uncomfortable sometimes and I don’t want to be correcting people to a certain pronoun and in a couple of hours correcting it to something else just to cater to me (that would be even more uncomfortable than being misgendered)

5) This is probably something that’s brought up a lot but I have a very masculine body it really gets me down sometimes. I’ve tried many times to use make-up and clothing and all sorts of tricks but on my feminine days it really gets to me that I’ll never be pretty. (it sounds really pre-teen and petty but I can’t help it)

Any help would be super appreciated. 

Anonymous asked: Is it possible to be a genderfluid demiboy? Like does that contradict itself? Given that male is both my predominant and preferred gender...

It is possible, arbitrary things like the social ideas of gender identity are full of paradoxes anyway.


rosecransandpunk asked: I think I'm starting to realize that I'm gender fluid between female and agender. I sometimes feel like a girl but others days I really don't feel like either gender, I just feel like a person but not a specific gender. I don't have problem with my female parts (I was afab), but I don't see myself as a female 100% of the time; only about 25% of the time. Would that make me gender fluid?

Why, yes. The body parts are beside the question, though. If your gender changes, you’re genderfluid. You count!


Anonymous asked: I don't understand how you can tell if ur genderfluid?

If you feel in your heart that you’re one gender at some times and some other gender at other times, with a possible transition in between, and with other genders possible at other times, you’re genderfluid. It’s got nothing to do with your body or your appearance. 

So I tell people I’m genderfluid with a loud voice and then I hug them silly.


Anonymous asked: To the anon who feels like she would also like to have a penis sometimes-- I feel the same way! I've always been worried about saying anything, too, so it's really nice to know there are other people out there who feel this way! It's not something that ever gets discussed, or at least not as frequently as other issues, so it can be hard to talk about.

graspthesanity asked: Hey :D I just figured that I'll ask, coz why not really. I grew up and I pretty much have months when I'm male and months when I'm female and that's how it usually goes, but now that I came out I've been feeling much more male and I feel very alienated from being female, because that's what I've been forcing myself all my life. Does anyone else kind of cling onto the opposite they've been forced into at first? :D just curious :) <3

Followers? This sounds like it’d be a pretty common experience.

Anonymous asked: i'm dfab and i date a cis man. sometimes we use a strap on when i feel more masculine but sometimes even when i feel very masculine i still want to have penis in vagina kinda sex. is that weird? i simply feel like a man who has a vagina and is making good use out of it...i hope that makes sense.

There’s plenty of binary trans men who enjoy having vaginal sex. That’s a thing! 

The ways one likes to have sex don’t have to reflect the way cis heterosexual people like to have sex in order to be valid. 


Anonymous asked: It has never crossed my mind before at all even though i've known other trans people, but the more i think about it the more my experiences with gender seem to point the same way. It always seemed wrong when people thought i was a girl. I've hated my "feminine curves" ever since i got them - not because they're ugly, they're just not right for me. I explicitly thought about wanting to be a boy a lot when i was younger, but just thought it was impossible and ignored the idea. is this common?


Welcome to the club! I’m sure we have followers with very similar experiences.


radicallyqueerandnow asked: A thing I've noticed: the more fluid my gender becomes, the more binary its aspects become. I've identified as genderqueer for three years but fairly static... fluidity is making me both more dysphoric at times and afraid of seeming "not trans enough" at other times. It's an interesting process to experience.

That it is, that it is. I suppose the swings make one’s relationship with gender a lot more fragile, because the way you see yourself and interact with the world change alongside your gender.

I’m working through a lot of this stuff with my own relationship with maleness and femaleness (and with masculinity and femininity), and it’s weird stuff. It’s a lot of soul-searching and a lot of periods where even thinking about soul-searching hurts because dysphoria is horrible. It’s difficult stuff.


Anonymous asked: Hi I think I'm confused about my gender... I've always felt very feminine (I'm a cis female) but I've never felt like the word "girl" applies to me... I've just always felt like I should be somewhere in the middle of a girl and a boy. But I'm not sure what to do and I'm so confused. I've been told I might be genderfluid but I'm not sure what that means. Do you have any advice?


Genderfluidity is when your gender changes. If you’re sort of always somewhere in the middle, you’re not fluid! You might however be genderqueer, or neutrois, or agender, or something else like that that’s not “male” or “female”. I know lots of people who are DFAB (that is, designated female at birth, like you presumably were) femme genderqueer or femme agender! That might be something you’re interested in calling yourself.