Anonymous said: So I'm AMAB and some days I really feel like a girl, but other days I feel fine being a guy. The thing is, I can't tell whether I'm genderfluid, or if I'm a trans woman who just has some days where the dysphoria isn't so bad. What is the difference?
Honestly, this is a really hard question to answer. I’ve found that for a lot of people identifying as genderfluid is something that they do when they’re exploring their identity in the early stages, and that the fluctuating dysphoria either evens out or becomes something they recognize as what you’re describing, it just not being as bad some days.
A lot of binary trans or more static non-binary people have that experience! They start off swinging, not sure who or what they are, and it evens out. That doesn’t make being genderfluid long-term something that is rare or wrong, though! Different people experience gender differently. I was very clearly fluid as a child, but not so much now; I know lots of people who’ve had the opposite experience, a sort of genderlessness or non-binary experience of childhood and then more overt fluidity in adulthood, and of course tons of people don’t have any inkling they’re trans until late in life.
It’s okay to not know what you are. It’s okay to want to know what you are, and to be frustrated with this! Time will probably help you work it out. Don’t be afraid of just picking one thing for now and changing it if it doesn’t seem to fit later on! I’d note however that what you’re describing is definitely something that’s true of the trans women in my life, especially in the first few months of identifying as something other than cis, and that lots of them did go through IDing as genderfluid or non-binary at first. That’s okay! Not doing that and deciding you’re a trans woman is also okay!
Good luck, in any case.