Anonymous said: What about the other way around (opposite of binding) having dysphoria about not having breasts? What could inexpensively help us flat chested folk?
This post and this might be useful to you.
Anonymous said: Hey just a little celebration because I have been having a very good week. I ordered my underworks binder yesterday! I'm was thinking of cutting my hair short, but I was afraid my job might think it was too "alternative" and get mad, but then i found out that my manager is gay and getting married next week and if he's a manager then this place can't be full of crap about acceptance like most places are. I'm so excited to be here hhh.
Anonymous said: Opinions on gender-only languages. Where most words are based on feminine and masculine. Such as; Spanish, Catalan , French, Italian and Portuguese?
I don’t really know what sort of opinion you’re looking for. I mean, that’s tough for nonbinary people. In Spanish I personally tend to use -o endings, but you can also try avoiding words that are gendered, which is difficult but usually possible (in Spanish at least—I don’t really know anything about the other languages). Or you could alternate between the different genders. I’ve also heard of people using -e endings instead of -o or -a, or using @ (which only really works in writing), or -oa, or -ao. Again, I don’t really know anything about the other languages, but I imagine similar creative solutions might be found.
sledgerr said: to the short hair anon-- i cut my hair short last summer after debating for a really really long time whether i should do it or not. it was probably the best decision i ever made, but also really scary. i also have curly hair, and didn't know how it would work out. it turned out fine, bc apparently my hair is straight when it's short. it's def a good idea to cut it over the summer when school's out, just in case you hate it, you have time to grow it out before anyone sees. i hope this helps!! :)
I saw that someone was worried about binding with large breasts a couple days ago and I think this post I made might be helpful to them and anyone else with the same worries:
Anonymous said: Hello! I was looking for some advice and wasn't sure who to ask. I'm a dmab genderqueer with a masculine presentation and I really like this girl who is straight. If I was planning on a relationship with her (which I am) would it be wrong to keep my identity a secret and simply not tell her I'm gq? I already present masculine and I'm fine with gendered terms like boyfriend etc. I'm just not sure if this is like lying and is unfair to her. Thank you!
I don’t really have an answer to this, to be honest. All I can think of is that it’s probably not necessarily wrong, but it might be more unpleasant for you than you think, and I’m not sure it would be sustainable in a healthy relationship. Does anyone have any thoughts?
Anonymous said: i know that my assigned gender doesn't seem to work for me but i don't know why and i've experienced what i now assume to be dysphoria through most of my puberty and i know that i've wished to be a different gender and felt that i was failing being the gender i was assigned on many occasions, but i still can't figure out wether or not this has anything to do with my gender identity - wether or not i'm cis? maybe i'm interpreting everything wrong. is there any way to know if this is right for me?
From what you’ve said, it sounds like it has everything to do with your gender identity, though I suppose it’s possible it’s self-hatred or gender nonconformity instead. To know how it’s right for you, I’d try experimenting with different pronouns, language, presentation, etc—even in private, even in your head—and see how that feels. If you feel safe and want to, try telling someone you trust and asking them to try different pronouns or whatever for you. Just play around, see what feels right, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Also remember that all of us have spent time feeling like a fake, due to the messages we receive about gender and so on.
Anonymous said: I'm doing a presentation on gender identity and culture and really need help examining this question from a perspective of someone who answered yes: Does society’s representation or idea of non-binary persons impact how a culture views non-binary persons within said culture? Why?
I’m afraid I don’t really understand this question, because…um…yes?? How could it not? Aren’t those the same thing? Of course representation is important, and ideas about something kind of are how they view something…are you referring to the difference between the general and the specific? Again, obviously yes, people exist within the framework of society’s ideas about people like them? I’m trying to picture a scenario in which this wouldn’t be true, and I’m really coming up empty. Am I missing something here?
Anonymous said: Why does the LGBT community hate on non-binary people so much? :(
Because of respectability politics, because of transphobia, because of ignorance, because of whiteness, because of assimilation, because of the cis gay white male/sometimes lesbian mainstream, because of self-centeredness, because of gender policing, because of internalized cishet ideals, because of fear that more “extreme” people will cause their own tenuous acceptance to be taken away, because people like feeling superior to other people, because we’re somewhat off the beaten path when it comes to how people generally think about the world, because they’ve never heard of us for most of their lives and therefore don’t grow up with our existence incorporated into their understanding of humanity (and as a result think we’re making it up), because we’re often young and other qualities that make us easy targets. For starters.
Dicking around in photoshop.
Anonymous said: Hi, I believe I'm genderfluid, but don't really know. I sometimes feel like a woman, androynous, male. I thought I was trans*, but I never consistently felt like a gender for more than a day or so. Therefore I think I am gendfluid. I've stuffed my top (I'm biologically male). I want to buy a wig. But I know sometimes I don't want to do that. I've thought of different names for myself; genderwise. I'm really worried about it. I don't know how I'd tell anyone. And I want to be sure myself first.
That’s okay. I waited about a year between coming out to myself and to other people—like you, I wanted to be sure, and I was scared about how it would go. Here’s a post I wrote about coming out. Feel free to experiment with your presentation, with labels, with names, and pronouns. That should help you figure out what you want, and it’s okay to take time with that. Also, you can be trans and genderfluid at the same time.
Anonymous said: (gender dysphoria nonny) that I just feel it would be better. But I don't really...feel like I'm 'wrong'? I don't dislike my body for being female. I just wish it was male. Is that gender dysphoria? I don't want to say I struggle with it and undermine those that actually do, if I don't.
I can’t find the first half of your mssage. But the answer is yes, that’s dysphoria. It comes at all levels and in all permutations.