We are Genderfluid!

Oct 19

Anonymous said: Hi. I was wondering if I could ask some advice. I'm DFAB, but have been struggling with my gender for years. I am a lesbian, but wish I looked like David Tennant and get distressed dressing feminine or even sometimes being identified as a woman, but would not want bottom surgery or to be identified as a man. Ultimately I'm pretty confused and was wondering if you had any advice.

Maybe you’re some sort of nonbinary gender.  Lots of trans people don’t want bottom surgery, btw.  I’d do some research, explore different identities and words and presentations, see what feels good.  Don’t let yourself be trapped by the common narratives—do what works for you.

-Riam

Anonymous said: Is it possible to be trans genderfluid? becuase even on my femme days I have to bind. if I even try to wear a bra I can't breathe and my anxiety hits the roof.

I’m not sure what you mean by trans genderfluid, but what you describe is not an unusual experience.  

Genderfluid is trans.  If you mean binary trans, I don’t know.  If you mean wanting to transition, absolutely.  If on your femme days, you just feel femme and not female, maybe you’re not genderfluid. If you sometimes feel physical dysphoria but not social dysphoria, that’s fine and normal too.

-Riam

Anonymous said: I recently (like six months ago) began identifying as genderfluid, and have been experimenting with binders. Unfortunately, I'm plus-sized, and the cheap Asian binders are all too small, while the American binders I've found that include binders for people my sized are all really expensive. Do you have any recommendations for affordable binders for plus-sized people?

Does anyone have experience here?

-Riam

Oct 18

spoopyryro said: hey sorry to sound ignorant but i was wondering whether it's commonplace for genderfluid people to use different names when they feel particularly feminine/masculine? and if so how to counteract any problems that may arise (e.g. explaining to people)

Some people do, some don’t.  I’ve heard that using some sort of visible signal to show which you want them to use—eg, name tag, accessory, whatever—can help.  I don’t know which problems you have in mind specifically.

-Riam

Oct 16

Hey, Key here. 

I don’t know how my parents have managed to be this oblivious for this long, but yesterday morning they finally worked out that I’m queer (read: that I’m dating a girl; they don’t know she’s trans, or that I’m trans). If you’ve followed this blog for some time, or if you follow my personal, you’ll know my parents are fundamentalist Christians.

It’s not been fun. It’s been a really bad week for my mental health already without this on top of it, and I’m currently in the middle of fighting my way through the atrocious Auckland state health system to obtain HRT, and now I’m part of the statistic for LGBT teenagers who’ve run away from home, apparently!

I’m safe and I have a place to stay and a reasonable amount saved up, but I may not be answering asks on here for a while. I’ll still have Internet access most places I am (university and the local queer/trans youth centre), but I’ll probably leave everything that’s not explicitly directed at me to Riam for a little bit. 

If you have a question that you want me to answer specifically, there are ways to contact me here, and if you want to help out in some way and have the means to do so (please don’t give me money if you can’t afford it), my paypal is though.poppies.blow@gmail.com. 

Thank you for your support!

-Key

Oct 15

Anonymous said: Anyone got suggestions for how I can get a prescription for T online?

Well, it’s illegal, I believe.  But I believe it’s possible to buy quantities of T from steroid sites online?  I looked into it a few years ago but it was too expensive for me.  If you mean talk to an endocrinologist online and get a prescription from them, I don’t know if that’s possible or if anyone is willing to do that.

-Riam

Anonymous said: Hey, I've figured out that I'm probably genderfluid but I was wondering, is it normal/common that I sometimes have trouble figuring out what gender I am on some days? Thank you :3

Yes, totally normal.

-Riam

Oct 14

lgisconfused said: hi there! i am a dfab person who has recently figured out i am probably genderfluid, and i'm interested in trying to purchase a binder. i'm nervous about this because i am really busty and i have sensory problems with my breasts sometimes. i am sending this message to request advice from other people who are busty who bind, with regards to fitting, what to look for, recommendations, anything. i'm having trouble figuring out where to start looking! any help would be really appreciated. thank you!

Anyone?

-Riam

jamesgenderjourney said: Wait, so I don't hate my body. Sometimes I wish I was flat chested so I wouldn't have to wear a binder, but I just wish I could flip a switch to change my biological sex. But I don't HATE my body for it. Is that dysphoria?

Yes.

-Riam

Anonymous said: I'm an asexual and I'm genderfluid, and my girlfriend is so sweet and understanding about it, and every morning she knows what pronouns to use and if she can't tell she just calls me love or babe or darling until I tell her and I want to thank you for having this blog because when I first came out to her I sent her to this blog so she could research were both very grateful thank you so much.

That’s great, I’m so happy for you!

-Riam

Anonymous said: (dysphoria/genital mention tw) sorry just gotta gripe - i'm just so ANNOYED that my "narrative" seems SO DIFFERENT from other nb people. i see a lot of nb dyadic afab people saying they have mostly top dysphoria but don't really mind their bottom situation because "it's at least less visible than a penis" and stuff like that. me, i have next-to-no top dysphoria (except how it always makes people assume i'm a girl), and can't bind anyway for health reasons. but my bottom dysphoria is EXCRUCIATING

I don’t think that’s too unusual.  It was like that for me for a while, though it changed.  You’re definitely not alone.

-Riam

Anonymous said: hi so i'm genderfluid and i was born female and i use 'he/she/they' to describe myself but most people don't know that i'm genderfluid, so i get kind of uncomfortable when people use 'she' pronouns for me all the time. like i don't want people to only see me as female, even though i don't mind 'she' pronouns when used by people who know i'm genderfluid. is that weird? also i haven't gotten a binder yet but i want to look more masculine, any tips for that until i get a binder?

That is not even slightly weird, it makes perfect sense!  That is the case for a lot of people.  As for the second question, try experimenting with hair, contouring through make-up, clothing, and body language.  I don’t know how much specific advice I can give you.  Also, try this tag.

-Riam