proteg0 said: I've been questioning my gender for months now and I think I'm genderfluid or genderqueer or nonbinary or something. I'm dfab and experience very little dysphoria. I have days where I feel very femme, but I don't always feel female and femme. Does that make sense? I'm pansexual, but lately I've been leaning male, but it's been feeling more like I'm a gay boy who's feminine than I'm just a boring old straight girl. Can I be a feminine boy and where do I go from here?

That’s entirely possible!  Where you go from here is completely up to you.  Maybe you want to socially transition to male.  Maybe you’d rather be socially nonbinary.  Maybe you don’t want to come out.  Maybe you want to access medical transition.  Maybe you want to go on hormones, or have some sort of surgery, or neither, or both.  Maybe you want to present in a feminine matter, or maybe you’d prefer only to do that when people read you as male, or something else.  It’s all up to you!  Anyway, what you feel is valid—whether you’re a binary trans femme boy, or a femme nonbinary boy, or a femme genderfluid person, or whatever else—and don’t feel your options in who to be are limited by your asab, or femme-ness, or potential nonbinary-ness or fluidity or anything else.

-Riam

Anonymous said: Is it common to have a hard time adjusting when you first ask people to call you by the name you choose? Because I asked my best friend that a few days ago--she took it well and obliged, but it feels kind of... wrong, like I made a mistake. I really do like the name I chose, it's common and the image I get when I think of it is, well, a male me. But I'm not male, not quite yet, I don't have my binders yet and I still have long hair. Is that why? I'm just really worried about this.

That’s very common, don’t worry. It’ll probably take a week or two at least before you feel like that name is really “you.”  I doubt your hair or binding status has anything to do with it, though I suppose it could.

-Riam

Anonymous said: about my last ask, correct that statement to I was born with a vagina, not as a girl, sorry about that im still sorta trying to grow out of that way of thinking since im only recently (as of last year) aware of why its a problem, again im sorry

Hey it’s all good, I don’t know which ask you’re referring to but it’s okay to have difficulty with this stuff and also to refer to yourself however you like.  if it’s the thing I tagged as casual cissexism that’s just in case other readers are upset by that kind of wording and want to avoid it.  it’s okay, don’t beat yourself up about it :)

-Riam

Anonymous said: I am so confused about my gender. Sometimes, I feel incredibly male or at least a mix of male and female. but then i go through moments where i dont feel anything at all. i dont feel like anything. i dont under stand and it scares me :'(

Maybe you’re genderfluid between male, androgynous/intergender/whatever, and agender? It’s okay to not have a gender sometimes.  Is that what you mean?  I hope you figure it out and feel better.

-Riam

Anonymous said: My girlfriend isnt pansexual, and Im genderfluid- biologically female. She feels attracted to me everyday but my guy days and Im fine with this We got together before I came out as genderfluid. She still loves me the same. I just wanted your thoughts

Sounds like you’re okay with the situation, and she’s okay with the situation, and it’s all good.  Don’t see any problem.

-Riam

Anonymous said: Is it okay to be nonbinary and still use gendered (she/her) pronouns? I'm dfab and have identified as a cis girl for a while, but recently I'm leaning a little more towards demigirl/nonbinary, though I haven't really figured everything out yet. I guess partly I don't want to be stepping on any toes (does a dfab person who still identifies as kind of feminine count as trans?) but I really don't mind she/her pronouns even if I'm not fully female. Does that make sense?

That is 100% okay!  you are okay!  Go forth and be great!

-Riam

rainsfriend said: Just wanted to share about a conversation I had with my cis boyfriend recently about coming out. We want to adopt kids in the future, and I told him that my main hesitation with coming out as gf was that it would potentially harm our chances of adopting. He told me, and I quote, "It's more important for you to be you. Worst come to worst, we can always find another way to adopt kids, but it is more important for you to be yourself." :3

Yay!

-Riam

lifeofjardini said: to the female/agender anon: the gender identity demigirl is often used to describe partially girl, partially other. and there are other polygender identities: bigender, nan0gender, etc. simultaneous and/or multiple genders are totally a thing.

Thanks!

hi all!!! my name’s christian. i’m pretty much genderfluid probably maybe pretty much nearly. honestly not really sure, but so far it seems to fit best. dmab here. usually feel gender neutral, sometimes agender, occasionally somewhat feminine. i prefer they/them pronouns, although i only really mind being called masculine pronouns. i don’t like trying to label my sexuality or anything but i probably think you’re cute. i like people & i want to be your friend

Anonymous said: Is it possible to be female and agender simultaneously?

I think so.  It sounds contradictory, but identities often are complicated like that.  If that’s what works for you, that’s valid.

-RIam

Anonymous said: my partner is a cis male and sometimes, to make me feel better because i ALWAYS, no matter what, get read as female (dfab) he gives me his clothes and boxers (we're about the same height and stuff - he's really tiny haha) idk why but i felt like sharing this, because i never thought being in a relationship with a cis person would work and now i see that i was completely wrong.

That sounds great :)

Hey! My name is Sydney and I think I’m genderfluid. The more I think about it, the more I think I may be genderfluid. I’m dfab, and I’m more commonly feminine than I am gender-neutral. I don’t really mind which pronouns people use for me (which is helpful on my neutral days). I’m looking forward to meeting new people and learning more about what it means to be genderfluid. :)