Showing posts tagged askbox

Anonymous said: I know binding while working out is bad, but is binding while weight lifting bad?

Well, that still counts as working out, so probably the same rules apply.  I think the issue has something to do with the expansion of your chest being restricted when combined with the heavier breathing caused by exercise.  it’s probably more about how much you exercise, not what type of exercise you’re doing.  the severity of the problem will vary.  to be honest, when i wore a binder i still bound while exercising, and I never had a problem.  i don’t want to encourage anyone to do anything that might be detrimental to their health though.  i’m not a doctor, i really don’t know how bad the risks are, but it’s a personal choice, weighing what the pros and cons are and how important they are to you.  whether weight lifting is more or less bad just probably has to do with how much it affects your breathing, plus range of motion, issues with ribs or back.

-Riam

Anonymous said: i have a question! ive been using male pronouns since last year, and they feel comfortable to me, but sometimes i dont feel male. if im in an unfamiliar place or around many other male friends, i feel more male (which comes with a bad feeling since i havent been able to come out in real life.) but when im in a familiar place or around female friends, i feel fine with my given name and female pronouns; i dont even feel like it's a compromise, i prefer it. what does this mean?

Sounds like you’re sort of situation-dependent genderfluid, and that you’ve figured out what works for you, or what will if you come out.  Good luck with everything.

-Riam

Anonymous said: Hey I'm gender fluid and I'd like to try binding on my masculine days but I'm worried because some ppl say it wrecks breast tissue and I don't want that on my feminine days. Is it true??? I'm nervous to try...

It does thin breast tissue, but that’s over a period of years.  Nothing bad would happen if you just wanted to try it a few times.  I believe it also depends on how long you wear it per day, and maybe also the tightness?

So:

-short term you’re not going to have a problem.  if you want to try, go for it, your chest won’t suddenly deflate.

-long term, it does make some changes.  you basically have to decide whether or not it’s worth it to you.  the changes probably wouldn’t be too dramatic, or not in the span of a couple years anyway (it varies by person), but it does thin the tissue.  I can’t make that decision for you.

-Riam

dracolegend said: Just sharing: I've been wanting boxers for a while, and today my mom bought me some. I'm so happy!

Yayyyy!

Flavia

proteg0 said: I've been questioning my gender for months now and I think I'm genderfluid or genderqueer or nonbinary or something. I'm dfab and experience very little dysphoria. I have days where I feel very femme, but I don't always feel female and femme. Does that make sense? I'm pansexual, but lately I've been leaning male, but it's been feeling more like I'm a gay boy who's feminine than I'm just a boring old straight girl. Can I be a feminine boy and where do I go from here?

That’s entirely possible!  Where you go from here is completely up to you.  Maybe you want to socially transition to male.  Maybe you’d rather be socially nonbinary.  Maybe you don’t want to come out.  Maybe you want to access medical transition.  Maybe you want to go on hormones, or have some sort of surgery, or neither, or both.  Maybe you want to present in a feminine matter, or maybe you’d prefer only to do that when people read you as male, or something else.  It’s all up to you!  Anyway, what you feel is valid—whether you’re a binary trans femme boy, or a femme nonbinary boy, or a femme genderfluid person, or whatever else—and don’t feel your options in who to be are limited by your asab, or femme-ness, or potential nonbinary-ness or fluidity or anything else.

-Riam

Anonymous said: Is it common to have a hard time adjusting when you first ask people to call you by the name you choose? Because I asked my best friend that a few days ago--she took it well and obliged, but it feels kind of... wrong, like I made a mistake. I really do like the name I chose, it's common and the image I get when I think of it is, well, a male me. But I'm not male, not quite yet, I don't have my binders yet and I still have long hair. Is that why? I'm just really worried about this.

That’s very common, don’t worry. It’ll probably take a week or two at least before you feel like that name is really “you.”  I doubt your hair or binding status has anything to do with it, though I suppose it could.

-Riam

Anonymous said: about my last ask, correct that statement to I was born with a vagina, not as a girl, sorry about that im still sorta trying to grow out of that way of thinking since im only recently (as of last year) aware of why its a problem, again im sorry

Hey it’s all good, I don’t know which ask you’re referring to but it’s okay to have difficulty with this stuff and also to refer to yourself however you like.  if it’s the thing I tagged as casual cissexism that’s just in case other readers are upset by that kind of wording and want to avoid it.  it’s okay, don’t beat yourself up about it :)

-Riam

Anonymous said: I am so confused about my gender. Sometimes, I feel incredibly male or at least a mix of male and female. but then i go through moments where i dont feel anything at all. i dont feel like anything. i dont under stand and it scares me :'(

Maybe you’re genderfluid between male, androgynous/intergender/whatever, and agender? It’s okay to not have a gender sometimes.  Is that what you mean?  I hope you figure it out and feel better.

-Riam

Anonymous said: My girlfriend isnt pansexual, and Im genderfluid- biologically female. She feels attracted to me everyday but my guy days and Im fine with this We got together before I came out as genderfluid. She still loves me the same. I just wanted your thoughts

Sounds like you’re okay with the situation, and she’s okay with the situation, and it’s all good.  Don’t see any problem.

-Riam

Anonymous said: Is it okay to be nonbinary and still use gendered (she/her) pronouns? I'm dfab and have identified as a cis girl for a while, but recently I'm leaning a little more towards demigirl/nonbinary, though I haven't really figured everything out yet. I guess partly I don't want to be stepping on any toes (does a dfab person who still identifies as kind of feminine count as trans?) but I really don't mind she/her pronouns even if I'm not fully female. Does that make sense?

That is 100% okay!  you are okay!  Go forth and be great!

-Riam

Anonymous said: Is it possible to be female and agender simultaneously?

I think so.  It sounds contradictory, but identities often are complicated like that.  If that’s what works for you, that’s valid.

-RIam