We are Genderfluid!

Anonymous asked: My gender is getting less and less fluid. I haven't changed in about four months, and that's only between male and masculine androgynous. I haven't been female since the summer. I'm scared that I'm losing my girl side, which i really really do not want to happen.

I’m sorry to hear about this distressing situation. It’s scary when our conscious and subconscious minds (If I can so describe this disparity) are in conflict, with one side moving away from one gender against our conscious will. I have never heard of anyone being able to control their genderfluidity willfully, though (presentation is a separate matter).

Anybody have any insights, or similar experiences?

Anonymous asked: I just found this blog and so I'm kind of nervous about asking anything with my name on it. However, I kind of have a problem; I feel genderfluid and have brought it up with a friend of mine a few times, but since I'm biologically female he kind of shrugs off what I say at times and even says that a female crossdressing isn't that big of a deal as a male crossdressing. (And yes, he referred to that in those terms.) How do I respond to this? Even thinking now about it, I'm still in shock.

It’s true that there’s more of taboo about guys wearing what are viewed as “women’s” clothes than vice versa. It sucks but it’s a social fact. That doesn’t mean you can’t do as you like. 

Dress as you feel suits you, and your situation. That might depend on who you’re with as well as your gender feeling; it’s not always a ripe time to change your appearance among mixed company! Don’t be rash, but try to make yourself happy. There’s the technique of changing underclothes while wearing “cis” outer garments, that can help, for example.

Whatever you wear will not have a direct relation to how your gender feelings go. Your wearing girl clothes will not ‘make you’ a girl on that day; nor will wearing ‘boy clothes’ make you any more of a boy. It’s just a psychological thing I guess, it helps your inner harmony. 

I’m not entirely sure what shocked you, or just how the crossdressing line relates to your gender feelings, to be honest. Perhaps your friend equates genderfluidity with changes in gender expression. If so, your friend is laboring under a traditional misconception. It’s not your duty to educate the friend, but still, nobody else is likely to take up the mic here as it’s a private conversation and you have a good opportunity to clear up the confusion and maybe gain a supporter who can help you when you feel bad about gender situations.

Hugs

Flavia

Hello darlings! 

I got to thinking about my gender feelings/fluctuations and the conditions under which they operate, to see if I can understand or predict the changes better. I think that with some people I tend to usually be more male when I talk with them, and some others I usually feel like a girl. Does this happen to you?

What I really would like to understand is this:

Since it seems that “bisexuality” and “pansexuality” are both used to mean the same thing, how did you choose to apply one of these terms to yourself—if you did, I mean? And why do you dislike (if you do) someone to use the other term?

Anonymous asked: Hello. I have long identified myself as bisexual, but as I've learned more about the LGBT community, I'm not sure what label really does fit me best. I'm also a little confused as to the difference between "bisexual" and "pansexual", as both seem to involve loving everyone no matter what gender identity. Any help? Thanks!

The terms overlap in common usage, and in fact many people seem to use the word “bisexual” to mean loving anybody. That is just what pansexual means, too.

br4ndnewbr4nd asked: How do I come out as genderfluid? I mean what to say? What words should I use? Do I tell them right away that sometimes I feel like Tom and sometimes like Rosie?

This is one of those frequently asked questions that is mentioned at our FAQ page (see sidebar for link).

My standard answer is: it’s a personal thing and no two people have the same set of circumstances, but still, you can read up on our ‘coming out’ tag and see if any people’s experiences and ideas inspire you! Please share when you have something to report, too; your own experiences may give others courage!

Anna

every one has seen me as male for the past 18 years, and I have become scared to look anything else then masculine, I really lost my true personality in the progress ! now I don’t want to hide anymore…..I want to have breasts, I’m considering hormones but I’m scared that it will have a way too strong effect on me, up until the point where I can’t look masculine anymore, and get really uncomfortable….

Anonymous asked: Can I ask for help? I'm biologically a girl, but I usually identify as a male or neither gender. My given name is very feminine, and so I gave my male persona a name. I call myself Kaleb now. How do I get used to a new name? And what do I tell people who meet me while I'm male (I appear very feminine). Gender fluidity is so hard to deal with sometimes. :(

I can only suggest that time works wonders and gets us used do darn near anything. I like the name Kaleb!

As for what to tell people, gosh, it depends so much on circumstances…what you’re feeling like, their attitude, the place where you are, your relationship…

If you trust them, just go with the truth about how you feel…but you may need to explain and contextualize first because many people have no idea that genderfluidity, or even genderqueerness, exists in their world!

If you don’t know them or don’t trust them, just do what feels right, but keep yourself safe. There’s always tomorrow to tell them when you feel more up to it.

Anonymous asked: Hey, remember that picture of Norman Reedus in a dress or a skirt or something? Do you have any information regarding that photoshoot?

I do not, but I imagine someone among the readership does. Please, provide some info for us? Thanks!

Flavia