Anonymous said: Do you have any insights to or know any blogs for sexual fluidity? And like what it is exactly? And does it have to be fluctuating between genders or like if you always like blonde girls but then like a brunette girl randomly- is that a form of fluidity? Because it deviates from what you typically are?
I don’t know of any blogs, no.
That said, I understand gender-based sexuality being fluid, especially alongside a fluid gender, but honestly: the hair color example you’ve got there, if it’s serious, is indicative of larger problems in how you conceive sexuality.
People are attractive for a range of reasons! Sometimes one particular person who’s “not your type” might stick out and be attractive to you! That’s not necessarily implying that your sexuality has changed! There’s a reason our everyday conversations about sexuality sometimes have “I’d go straight for X” or similar: even with gender, there’s often a couple of exceptions to a norm, and that’s okay.
Also: your “type” will change over time! I used to be exclusively attracted to thin white guys who were blonde and blue-eyed. That was mostly me being influenced by internalized racism and homophobia and a really fucked up understanding of beauty standards tied to the internalized racism, to be honest. Now I’m very much not. A lot of that was working on myself because I didn’t want to be that person. I still am disproportionately attracted to white people, and that’s stuff I’m still unpacking about the way I grew up believing white people were the prettiest and the best, but I’m doing what I can.
(Even if I hadn’t done deliberate work on myself and analyzed why I liked the people I did, and whether that was set in stone or kind of based on things I didn’t want to be, I think my attractions would have changed over time. I know for sure they do for lots and lots of people.)
In short: this might be something you want to put a label on, but: I’d strongly discourage both the labelling of something as trivial as hair color and the uncritical assumption that who you like is just who you like and there’s nothing you can change about it, only go along with the ride that is a changing sexuality.