Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) and Tags

THIS PAGE IS A WORK IN PROGRESS!

Just wondering, but do you guys not answer some asks? I’ve sent some in but they’re never answered.

We have hundreds of asks in our inbox, and many of them are essentially the same question as others that have already been answered. We don’t get paid to run this blog, and we only have so much time. We value your questions and are honored that you trust us with them, but realistically, it’s not possible for us to answer all of them. Try looking through the blog to see if a question similar to yours has already been answered!

Unanswered Asks Tag Old Asks Tag

What’s the difference between genderfluidity and androgyny?

Androgyny, in terms of gender identity, is usually defined as between male and female or part one and part the other. It doesn’t necessarily ever change. Genderfluidity, on the other hand, just means that a person’s gender changes over time. It can shift between any points (not just male, female, or between them), and it’s not necessarily multiple things at once.

(adapted from jondek.tumblr.com)

Androgyny Tag

How can a dmab person look more feminine?

Good Post
Femininity Tag
”Dressing the Part” Tag

more, more, more, more, more

How can a dfab person look more masculine?

Post 1 Post 2

Masculinity Tag

How do I come out?

Here’s the tag, and here’s a big post.

Am I genderfluid?

We really can’t answer that question for you! You’re the only one who knows who you are and what you’re feeling. Basically, being genderfluid means that you feel like different genders at different times. That’s not dependent on whether your presentation shifts, or anything else, really—just your feeling of what gender you are. It’s also not necessary that the genders you switch between are male or female, or that you ever feel male or female. Here’s a tag.

Can I do transition stuff?

You can do whatever transition stuff feels right for you, regardless of your identity label. That includes surgery, hrt, name/pronoun/language changes, clothing changes, binding/tucking/packing/breast forms, hair changes, other temporary changes in presentation, telling people, legal name and gender changes, and anything else you can think of. You can do all, none, or some of these things. For physical and legal transition, you may find a professional who understands, or you may need to lie, or in some cases you can access an informed consent clinic.

What does it mean to feel like/identify as/have a gender?

Here’s a post. Here’s another.

I have such and such a body, and not much money, where should I get a binder?

Here’s a post about binding with a big chest, and look here especially. Also try binder review sites and other useful sites like here, here, here, and here.

I came out and the person is being awful about it, what do I do?

Here’s a post; it doesn’t cover everything, though, like if the person is being violent, or shows no sign of eventually coming round, or it’s been a really long time. It’s a start, though.

What’s the difference between genderfluid and bigender?

Here’s a post that covers that. Essentially, genderfluid people can shift between more than two genders, and bigender people may not be fluctuating but rather experiencing two genders simultaneously.

Are genderfluid people trans?

You don’t have to use that label, but yes. Trans means not identifying exclusively/entirely as the gender you were assigned at birth. This is the case for genderfluid people.

Are genderfluid people nonbinary?

You don’t have to use that label, but yes. Being binary involves identifying exclusively and entirely as either male or female; this is not the case for genderfluid people.

Am I still genderfluid if x?

If your gender changes periodically, you’re still genderfluid. That’s the case regardless of your clothing, pronouns, name or other language preferences, closeted or out status, when you began thinking about it, personality, interests, sexuality, how often you experience fluctuations, or any other factor.

How do I educate people about genderfluidity?

Here are some links. I included the coming out post because it has a collection of resources and ideas for educating people.

Which bathroom should I use?

Here are a few tags. Basically, take into account your safety (including your location) and comfort, and it’s okay to switch around.

I feel like my sexual orientation shifts along with my gender, maybe in certain patterns. What’s up with that?

I don’t know what’s up with it, but it’s normal, and a lot of people have that experience. Some of the posts in this tag deal with that.

How should I do my hair? What if I can’t/don’t want to grow it out/cut it?

Here are some tags with posts about this topic.

Can you give me advice about my genderfluid fictional character?

Here’s a post. Here’s a blog.

I’m feeling really dysphoric, can you help?

Here are some links. x x x x x

What if sometimes I really want to transition, and sometimes I really don’t?

You can pick and choose elements of transition, for one. For another, give it some time and see if how you feel changes or settles. Try focusing on a certain element of transition for a while throughout your changes–is there one that feels good or acceptable through all of your genders? For any particular element, which feeling is stronger–wanting it or not wanting it? Are there elements where one is much more significant than the other? Can you do things that are temporary or reversible? Can you think of potential methods to tide you through intermittent periods of dysphoria if you decide a certain type of permanent transition is worth it–eg, buying or making breastforms after top surgery, or a packer after bottom surgery, or voice training giving you different possible pitches after t, or binding after estrogen, or shaving or drawing in hair, etc etc. Imagine yourself having done the thing as you go about your life, and monitor how it feels.

What should I do about gendered stuff in a certain non-English language?

Here’s a tag.

How do I pick a new name? Can you give me thoughts on my name?

Here are some tags. Try looking through baby name sites, seeing how different names strike you, imagine yourself being called by them. Let yourself sit with them for a while and see if your feelings change. Your name is probably great, but our thoughts on it are probably not relevant—you’re the one that’s going to be using it.

What if I change my mind?

That’s okay! Change is okay, making mistakes as you figure things out is okay, it’s all okay. It might be embarrassing, but people should understand if they’re not awful. Be kind to yourself.

Insecurity is normal.

Gender-neutral titles.

TAGS:
Coming Out

Pronouns

Identity (What am I/how do I know if I’m genderfluid/etc)

Askbox / a wild ask appears!

responses (from followers about asks)

asks by any particular mod can be found under /tagged/[mod’s name]

Follower submissions and introductions

Dysphoria / Dysphoria w (Here’s a post, parts of it specific to DFAB people, but not all of it)

Binding / Binder (sorry for inconsistency)

binding without a binder